Proper madness

I was blessed to have my holiday in another country
This should be fun
Oh so i thought
At the checkpoint
These people can make u paranoid
especialluy if have this green pali
They searched, seacrched at every section
that if anyone said hello, I am ready to remove my shoes and belt ready to be searched

I am all for security but these people
it get as e bi
My bag is a designer it has padlock full of metal bits
how u fit search that one with metal detector
So the man searching said i should everything wey dey inside
I was just thanking God i had not put something "for my eyes only "

The next stage to be body searched, ha!
crazy people, my body is for me only and for the man now
not some stranger whose personal hygiene was questionable
this woman was frisking me up and down
I wanted to go hav a shower afterwards
chai!!!!

First we need to board.......
I entered another country oooo, thank you Lord

the country!!!! well.... that is for another blog "strange places"

Time to come back
again at the checkpoint
Officer: Maam u need a visa to go to ur destination
me: are u mad? why would I need a visa to go back to my own country(my thoughts)
me: this must be a test (still my tots)
me(eja): please check again, I dont need a visa

The guy next to me was a guy from Afghanistan or was it iraq (why he wan travel to this country I don't know) was having problems as well.
I nodded and smiled politely hoping to God he is not catching my flight
long wait..........., I am thru
officer: Maam please go to gate.....

I got to the gate, the moment they saw my green book again
officer: please go to this gate.....
me: I was told to come here, I am confused
Now what followed was like a dream.

As I go to the gate, I felt like I was carrying SARS
I was still smiling when I heard this woman shout
"maam please step aside, please step aside"
Is she talking to me? I looked behind me
STEP ASIDE I SAID. so I did
one guy snatched(ok took) my bag from me
I was trying to tell him that my bag is locked and I have the key with me
The woman started shouting again step back, step back

Am I missing something
now I am pissed big time
wetin sef
officer: remove ur shoes, haa ha , ur belt
i was waiting for her to say remove ur trouser
I would have gone Jackie Chan on her .....aaayah!!

I glanced to my right, passenger are walking thru without been searched
to my left
the moppet with my bag is fiddling
before saying the bag is locked, do u hav the key?
oh my gosh these are people are so dumb

I glanced behind, guess who is been searched
the Afganistan/Iraq dude
Now my anger has reached spillage level
me: what is going on and why am I been searched
officer: the computer has randomly chosen you
me: so what are the criterias for this random choosing
officer: it is just random

random my foot, I think the computer only recognises green pali
the afghan also had green pali
And just like that the officer's tone changed after the search had finished
officer: Enjoy ur flight.............
I dropped kick her, gave her close down and 1, 2, 3 (WWF style) I have won
If only

ejatutu