Black or White?

Uh? (I hear)
Not Michael jackson's song
Mind you he still can't decide
i wonder how he feels around his siblings who are obviously black
Doesn't that add to his confusion
The cycle continues
I don't get the guy
Ur face reminds of ur father so grow a beard or something or better still see a psychiatrist
Abi? of course u are going to have ur father's face doh!
I bet he is wishing he has the face of his father now
Look at him, he looks like he is going to melt
No wonder he covers his face
I think even a small gust of wind will remove that face like a mask
Some people say it was a skin condition that turned him white (HA HA HA)
Then get a spray on tan and the guy is loaded
he can even spray bronze or gold
the one that Mariah Carey spray on.
These people self

Oh gosh, I have lost my train of thoughts

I am a sista
supposed to love the brothas
And I do who does not love Will Smith (Lord forgive me for coveting another woman's man)
or Taye Diggs or some Denzel Washington (even with his flabs now, everyone has them)
just to name a few
However I am partial to the lighter ones like Shemar Moore (he can make me sin anyday)
My preference seem to however be getting light and lighter now
The other brothers
God help me
what will my father say


So this dude at my workplace
He is a "brother"
He was friendly and pleasant
but most of all and strangely enough, he gets a sista
So he starts flirting me, caresssing my hand everytime he gets an opportunity
He will look at me longingly and pass comments about my hair
People start talking
I hav a rep to protect, I am a sista to the core (I think so)
I just told him flatly I don't do white (I still dont believe I said that to him)
I think this guy got even more excited by this

As the flirts continued

He happens to have been interested in a business idea I had then
So we begun hanging out outside of work, meeting up for lunch and drinks.
The strangest thing is we will meet at the bus stop or I will go ahead and he will pick me up.
I still hav a "rep to protect" and our employers and colleagues frown on interprofessional relationship because of possible libels.
At work we will meet in a side room so people could not hear our discussion
I will bring my jollof rice, beans and bobo will start eating
This bobo is blacker than I am
He even started saying I am biased I guess to plead his own case and calling me coconut

Bobo started getting attractive everyday ni sha
I caught myself one day starring at him and imagining what it would be like to kiss him
wo? what is happening?
I had to tell someone
So I confided in my friend
she confirmed my suspicion
Crap, what do I do now?

I must be the worst person on the planet at expressing my true feelings. I pushed him away by doing silly things to annoy him just to knock some sense into myself and him. Black and white in my world is difficult.
So I stopped calling him and picking his calls and tried to maintain civility as a professional.
Fortunately we both moved to different work areas but we are backing together again
he calls me a strong sista
I cannot tell whether he feels the same way
Tell me 'does black and white work in ur world?????????

More coming in part 2

The First time

The First time I saw it
It fidgeted and moved for a very long time
I wondered why
It appeared cold
It wanted to come alive
All it had to say was 'how are you'

The first time I LOOKED at it
It became a person
It (he) was different and unusual
I opened my mouth as usual
Why I do not know
He spoke and it felt cool
Didn't see his eyes or his face
But I couldn't care less


The first time I saw him DANCE
It was dark
He moved gently from side to side
Like a tree been moved by wind
His steps were one after another
Like ones ordained by God

The first time I SPOKE to him
I was so comfortable
Though my intentions were to rid of him
Like the farmer rid of thorns
But I found myself talking to him more
Drawn to him
Like a moth to a flame


The first time he LOOKED at me
My heart jumped
It was in my mouth
I opened my mouth as usual
Something came out unusual
I felt opened
Like everyone could see me especially him
And I alone cannot see me
The world has disappeared

The first time I TOUCHED him
A burning sensation rose within me
I felt my heart missing beats
But I felt his pacing and racing very fast and very high
I was drawn to him
Not physically
Something I have yet to comprehend
I did not want to let go
In his embrace, I am disappearing
Oh Lord help me!!

The first time I SAW him
Words cannot expresss it
He had a beauty unknown
A beauty that can only be described in God's glory
He is dark
He is tall and majestic
His lips well formed like a honeycomb
Then he met my gaze
His eyes bore into my soul

The first time he KISSED me
The first time I kissed him
He took all of me
I was no longer in control

I gave myself to him

His lips entwined with mine and all I felt

Was the gentle caress of his tongue

searching and probing

I felt like I would explode


His hearbeat made mine go faster


We are becoming one for the first time.......................


I will always remeber the firsr time

© ejatutu 2008