Riding

So this friend of mine said we should go on rollercoaster rides in America- Los Angeles to be precise;
Because I have had bad experiences with them before

I had told myself I will never go on them again
Peer pressure got to me
So I got on it
It was tempting
It was by the beach after all
the scene was beautiful, it was in the evening-

Sunset, landscape were all working for my good
There were not that many people on the ride
I think they were 8-10 of us in total
The next maybe 5 minutes felt like an eternity
It was one of these canoe things that swings like a pendulum

The 1st swing went pheeeeew!!
and these kids (teenagers) went heeeeeee (they have not seen life, nothing to lose)
The next swing was not soooo bad
However, the swing started getting higher
and choi
Eyin peeps (people) I started cursing like no man's business

Now!!! It is important to point out that I am a proud and
I am not afraid to let anyone know 'child of God'
I still don't understand why my usually
"Jesus you are Lord" did not come out of my mouth
except
"F***ing hell""woo shit shit shit shit "stop this f***ing thing
and more profane words were pouring out of my sanctified mouth

I grabbed the side of the canoe
(which by the way are meant to be on water)
THAT should have given me a warning sign
As I continued with my rantings
the octave of my shouting went higher as the pendulum swung higher
My choir leader has tried in vain to get me to go octaves higher
when I am singing and I couldn't achieve it
Alas!! canoe swinging like a pendulum can do it

Did I mention that I had started to cry to my shame
In my defence,
I tot i was going to die in a canoe!!!
My friend tried in vain to cover my mouth and later
pretended not to know me because of the sheer embarrassment

So the ride stopped,
I was so relieved and I quickly got off
the small (dripping sarcasm) boy operating the ride
was laughing his head off as I came out of the dingy/canoe
A small crowd had gathered at the ride section

I was like, THANK GOD the ride IS OVER











Nope!!!!! ase ko ti tan (it was not finished)
Loro kan sha (in one word) The ride was stopped midway
because of my cursing and the noise I was making
and the crowd that had gathered were
Spectators to one of the most embarrassing moments in life.

I wanted the wind to blow me away,
the ground to open up and swallow me,
for me to be a chameleon and blend into the background
so people could not see me or
Rapture to just occur and people will be like i tot she was here...............

My only saving grace- I was a tourist and I have probably created an unforgettable memory for someone


Please share your embarrassing moments
© ejatutu