Proper madness

I was blessed to have my holiday in another country
This should be fun
Oh so i thought
At the checkpoint
These people can make u paranoid
especialluy if have this green pali
They searched, seacrched at every section
that if anyone said hello, I am ready to remove my shoes and belt ready to be searched

I am all for security but these people
it get as e bi
My bag is a designer it has padlock full of metal bits
how u fit search that one with metal detector
So the man searching said i should everything wey dey inside
I was just thanking God i had not put something "for my eyes only "

The next stage to be body searched, ha!
crazy people, my body is for me only and for the man now
not some stranger whose personal hygiene was questionable
this woman was frisking me up and down
I wanted to go hav a shower afterwards
chai!!!!

First we need to board.......
I entered another country oooo, thank you Lord

the country!!!! well.... that is for another blog "strange places"

Time to come back
again at the checkpoint
Officer: Maam u need a visa to go to ur destination
me: are u mad? why would I need a visa to go back to my own country(my thoughts)
me: this must be a test (still my tots)
me(eja): please check again, I dont need a visa

The guy next to me was a guy from Afghanistan or was it iraq (why he wan travel to this country I don't know) was having problems as well.
I nodded and smiled politely hoping to God he is not catching my flight
long wait..........., I am thru
officer: Maam please go to gate.....

I got to the gate, the moment they saw my green book again
officer: please go to this gate.....
me: I was told to come here, I am confused
Now what followed was like a dream.

As I go to the gate, I felt like I was carrying SARS
I was still smiling when I heard this woman shout
"maam please step aside, please step aside"
Is she talking to me? I looked behind me
STEP ASIDE I SAID. so I did
one guy snatched(ok took) my bag from me
I was trying to tell him that my bag is locked and I have the key with me
The woman started shouting again step back, step back

Am I missing something
now I am pissed big time
wetin sef
officer: remove ur shoes, haa ha , ur belt
i was waiting for her to say remove ur trouser
I would have gone Jackie Chan on her .....aaayah!!

I glanced to my right, passenger are walking thru without been searched
to my left
the moppet with my bag is fiddling
before saying the bag is locked, do u hav the key?
oh my gosh these are people are so dumb

I glanced behind, guess who is been searched
the Afganistan/Iraq dude
Now my anger has reached spillage level
me: what is going on and why am I been searched
officer: the computer has randomly chosen you
me: so what are the criterias for this random choosing
officer: it is just random

random my foot, I think the computer only recognises green pali
the afghan also had green pali
And just like that the officer's tone changed after the search had finished
officer: Enjoy ur flight.............
I dropped kick her, gave her close down and 1, 2, 3 (WWF style) I have won
If only

ejatutu

Us

When I think of us
I thought it meant you
I thought it meant me
Us was no longer me, myself and I
It was now more of you
and less of me

Us now means putting you first
Every time, in everyway and everywhere
You reassure me that you love me very much
Not that I don't know what it means
But I always wonder why

You taught me what love is
Been loyal and faithful to you
It hurts to think that I want Us badly
but I can't let go or
I don't want to let go of me
and what could make US better

©ejatutu

Regrets!!!!!!!!

I will have no regrets
If it ever go wrong
Maybe lots of questions but definitely no regrets
No pain or sorrow
My heart is set
For I have met
the most wonderful person on earth

I had a relationship
That moved mountains
it shook rocks because we did it all together
We climbed up and down
It was together
Which made it easier

Together we had love for all seasons
Love that lasts a moment, a lifetime and all eternity
One all men cherish
One that conquer all fear
One that melts ice and covers all sins

Together all things were made possible
Together all things were right
No wrongs in the Sky
No wrongs in the moon

The sun rises and shines when I see your face
It sets when my heart could not beat without your heart
The sky is the limit of the love that we shared
I will have no regrets
I will have no bitterness

Because you will always be there


©ejatutu 2008

Jump 2

So I could not stop laughing
I was so high
I think i could have walked thru fire and not feel it
So I called my mother
To tell her what her rebel child has done

me: hello mum, I have just jumped out of the plane
Mum: I don die oh, ta ni mo se (who have I offended)
me: what are you talking about?
Mum: Was it one of your patients?
(I work with criminals that have mental health problems)
did they push you or were you going after them?
Me: I jumped willingly now and it was fun, I will call you later to explain

The next time I saw her, she actually banned me from doing what I have already done
She said I forbid you and I will curse you if you try it again
To help her with her anxiety, I gave her the video to watch
Big mistake
She nearly had a heart attack
SERIOUSLY
She watched it with her friends
They all started saying that I need special prayers
That maybe they have done juju to me from Naija

Choi!!!! I just parachute jump now
What if I tell all the other things I like to do
She will strap me to her house
or start sending people to me to come and pray for me
I remember one time like that
my mother was pestering me about when I will have kids
Because I told her my friend had just had a baby

mum: so when are we going to have ours
me: I don't know, as the Lord wills
mum: Be thinking about it oo
me: actually i hav tot about it
me: I am going to adopt a child
mum: God forbid!! why would you do that when u can hav yours?
me: I don't see anything wrong in it, I intend to adopt anyways
mum: oko mi (my beloved) please don't do that now
me: I am not married, u are talking of children
I tell you the woman must think I am not hers
unfortunately and fortunately we are carbon copies .

Oh I forgot...
when I told my sis about the jump,
she went into hysterics (typical)
she started shouting in her office (full of coporate staff)
"my sister just jumped"
i am sure they were thinking
why didn't u follow her
with all her shouting
You will think she is the one that jumped

WARNING: this is not for the faint hearted
and definitely not for the light headed
because it took me nearly 2 weeks to
get over the adrenline high
believe me it is addictive

I was walking around with this grin on my face
"I can do anything"
"If only you know what I had just done"


Read Jump

© ejatutu

Jump

Now I think about it, it was absolutely crazy
I used to work with some crazy peeps man
We all wanted to do Skydiving
It was talked about a lot
I had always wanted to do something outrageous
I decided to do it, paid the deposit
No turning back

I decided not to tell my mother as she will stop me
I told my younger bro and he played it down
I told my sis, she was hysterical so I lied that it was only a tot
I remember telling my pastor who categorically said
I am not going to pray for you cos black man is supposed to do things on land
we all laughed about it
Countdown to the day
I was very numb emotionally
I acted normally

Got to the pick up point
Many of my colleagues were shocked that I was going thru with it
I made sure I repented of all my horrible thoughts
If I am going to die, I want to be saying hello Daddy (GOD)
We arrived at our destination
Registration, introduction was fabulous and it was a breeze
I just started laughing and I couldn't stop
Like I had been given a happy dose of laughing gas
I got in my jump suit, the hat was hilarious

The plane started lifting after the runway
The ride was awful!!!
It was a bumpy ride and seriously I could not wait to get out
I will rather die flying myself
At least I will be in control
In spite of this
I was still laughing beyond belief
In retrospect, I think I was laughing at the way I had chosen to die

At 14, 000 feet at 12:05hrs, the plane stopped
Strapped to an instructor with my own camera man
My colleague had just jumped and he had 2 thumbs up weeeeeeeeeeee
I got to the edge of the plane door
we were above the clouds so I could not see the ground
My blackness, africanness returned
who sent me here?
Before I could change my mind
I jumped on the count of 3
It was as if an angel moved
Because it certainly wasn't me
With my eyes closed for a nanosecond
I am like damn!!, if I am going to die I might as well see it

Then we were flying
The rush was amazing
Freefalling at 180ml/sec
My heart felt like it was coming out of my mouth for the 1st 5 seconds
I was screaming
"that is wonderful" oh my God how I love you.........."
45 seconds felt like a nanosecond

Then the cord was pulled for the shute to come out
More screaming and laughing
I saw the beauiful clouds- formed rather well
If only i could touch it and put in a box
the speed reduced to 120ml/sec as the parachute came out
I felt like I was on top of the world
Still screaming and laughing saying a lot of nothings
I landed on my left knee unfortunately
I hd some scratches, it bled but I didn't feel the pain

I had done what I could only watch on TV
dream about or procastinate about
It was too amazing, adrenaline pumping, exhilirating rush
I was serioussly high for the next 2 weeks
Now I know why some people take drug continuously
So what's next I ask

'We should go Sky skiing
where you will be skiing in the sky literally
These people dey craze!!!!!!!

more coming in part 2

copywright ejatutu

Black or White 2?

Should I ask him or not?
Oh Lord help me
So I did

But before I did I asked the jonmons (my peoples)

As the one that will give me away I asked my father first
me: What if I bring a white dude home?
Now my father is old and desparate for grandkids
you will think he will say yes to anyone
but guess what he said

(kisses his teeth) eh no!!!
me: Daddy why now?
Dad: You will never come home
me: What do u mean?
Dad: Home is where ur heart is, ur loyalities will be divided (He is so right there)
me: But he loves me he will learn to love this hot and dusty place now
Dad: END OF DISCUSSION

For support and the hope that they wll back me up
I asked my siblings the same question and their replies are so strange and diverse
Ist one: Ha, we will never be able to speak our language again, anyway sha, just make sure u dont move to a remote location because these people are funny when it comes to love and we will be coming to check up (not visit o) on you.
Me: ok!!!

2nd one: why?
what do you mean why I ask?
2nd one: Are there no brothas again
you know you like to cook all this african food and like african life. Would you be able to cope if he does not want to learn your culture

3rd one: No!!!
me: what? Is that all u hav to say
3rd one: No ways, end of conversation

Oga oo, can u imagine my supposedly supporters.
Then finally my mother, why because? She is an interesting force to reckon with

mum: I used to like them ("brothers") you know but after that man killed his wife and family for no reason (it made headlines). I would rather you don't otherwise I will start visiting you regularly unannounced (this is a real threat from mum)

Anyway I still went ahead to ask the guy
If anyone know where they sell "TACT" in a superstore or flee market
I would gladly buy it
I just ask bobo directly

He said he was scared to ask me himself (to my delight)
He didn't know how to ask and was afraid I would say no
So he took me in his arms
and the kiss was like I had imagined and more
He is very tall so I got lost in his arms

(WAIT!!!! I am day dreamimg)

Omo the guy just diplomatically told me

although he really likes me

we are just friends (e no go better for friendship)
Ye ye ye, I don die oooooo
I think I slapped him with my eyes and he bled

So I am back to been civil and professional
Honestly I wish I had dated a white dude, then i will know if I am able to deal.
You see I am not a fool to think that colour is just that
I mean there are already enough variables in any relationship
This is to expanding my range of choices
black, white, green and yellow except for chinese, japanese, indians sha

© ejatutu

Black or White?

Uh? (I hear)
Not Michael jackson's song
Mind you he still can't decide
i wonder how he feels around his siblings who are obviously black
Doesn't that add to his confusion
The cycle continues
I don't get the guy
Ur face reminds of ur father so grow a beard or something or better still see a psychiatrist
Abi? of course u are going to have ur father's face doh!
I bet he is wishing he has the face of his father now
Look at him, he looks like he is going to melt
No wonder he covers his face
I think even a small gust of wind will remove that face like a mask
Some people say it was a skin condition that turned him white (HA HA HA)
Then get a spray on tan and the guy is loaded
he can even spray bronze or gold
the one that Mariah Carey spray on.
These people self

Oh gosh, I have lost my train of thoughts

I am a sista
supposed to love the brothas
And I do who does not love Will Smith (Lord forgive me for coveting another woman's man)
or Taye Diggs or some Denzel Washington (even with his flabs now, everyone has them)
just to name a few
However I am partial to the lighter ones like Shemar Moore (he can make me sin anyday)
My preference seem to however be getting light and lighter now
The other brothers
God help me
what will my father say


So this dude at my workplace
He is a "brother"
He was friendly and pleasant
but most of all and strangely enough, he gets a sista
So he starts flirting me, caresssing my hand everytime he gets an opportunity
He will look at me longingly and pass comments about my hair
People start talking
I hav a rep to protect, I am a sista to the core (I think so)
I just told him flatly I don't do white (I still dont believe I said that to him)
I think this guy got even more excited by this

As the flirts continued

He happens to have been interested in a business idea I had then
So we begun hanging out outside of work, meeting up for lunch and drinks.
The strangest thing is we will meet at the bus stop or I will go ahead and he will pick me up.
I still hav a "rep to protect" and our employers and colleagues frown on interprofessional relationship because of possible libels.
At work we will meet in a side room so people could not hear our discussion
I will bring my jollof rice, beans and bobo will start eating
This bobo is blacker than I am
He even started saying I am biased I guess to plead his own case and calling me coconut

Bobo started getting attractive everyday ni sha
I caught myself one day starring at him and imagining what it would be like to kiss him
wo? what is happening?
I had to tell someone
So I confided in my friend
she confirmed my suspicion
Crap, what do I do now?

I must be the worst person on the planet at expressing my true feelings. I pushed him away by doing silly things to annoy him just to knock some sense into myself and him. Black and white in my world is difficult.
So I stopped calling him and picking his calls and tried to maintain civility as a professional.
Fortunately we both moved to different work areas but we are backing together again
he calls me a strong sista
I cannot tell whether he feels the same way
Tell me 'does black and white work in ur world?????????

More coming in part 2

The First time

The First time I saw it
It fidgeted and moved for a very long time
I wondered why
It appeared cold
It wanted to come alive
All it had to say was 'how are you'

The first time I LOOKED at it
It became a person
It (he) was different and unusual
I opened my mouth as usual
Why I do not know
He spoke and it felt cool
Didn't see his eyes or his face
But I couldn't care less


The first time I saw him DANCE
It was dark
He moved gently from side to side
Like a tree been moved by wind
His steps were one after another
Like ones ordained by God

The first time I SPOKE to him
I was so comfortable
Though my intentions were to rid of him
Like the farmer rid of thorns
But I found myself talking to him more
Drawn to him
Like a moth to a flame


The first time he LOOKED at me
My heart jumped
It was in my mouth
I opened my mouth as usual
Something came out unusual
I felt opened
Like everyone could see me especially him
And I alone cannot see me
The world has disappeared

The first time I TOUCHED him
A burning sensation rose within me
I felt my heart missing beats
But I felt his pacing and racing very fast and very high
I was drawn to him
Not physically
Something I have yet to comprehend
I did not want to let go
In his embrace, I am disappearing
Oh Lord help me!!

The first time I SAW him
Words cannot expresss it
He had a beauty unknown
A beauty that can only be described in God's glory
He is dark
He is tall and majestic
His lips well formed like a honeycomb
Then he met my gaze
His eyes bore into my soul

The first time he KISSED me
The first time I kissed him
He took all of me
I was no longer in control

I gave myself to him

His lips entwined with mine and all I felt

Was the gentle caress of his tongue

searching and probing

I felt like I would explode


His hearbeat made mine go faster


We are becoming one for the first time.......................


I will always remeber the firsr time

© ejatutu 2008

Fresh fish

This nickname has finally stuck. eja (fish) is it because of the smell ( I promise i don't smell), the shape or the behaviour? I would like to know. I even had a song "could you be the most beautiful fish in the world" given to me by a guy who could not make up his mind on what our relationship was. I am going to keep the song because it used to make me smile how he would wake me up with this song. Here is to safe blogging.................... if you see a post by tsquare that would also be me.

© ejatutu